When I go to a twelve-step meeting I expect to feel safe. I expect to safely listen to others tell their stories. I expect that I can safely share my story. This experience allows me to rebuild trust. But what I expect to experience is based upon “expectations.” There is no guarantee of safety in a twelve-step meeting.
Fortunately, members in most twelve-step meetings share the same expectation of safety as I do. They too need a safe place to share and to listen. Thus, we work together to turn our “expectations” into reality rather than resentments.
Sometimes that process falters. There are some meetings I do not go back to because I do not feel the safe, trusting warmth that I expect. The fault is in my expectations. But that does not mean that I need to go back.