shared misunderstandings

A few of us decided to get together for the holiday and we were sitting in a coffee shop.

Two of my friends were wearing political attire, which our server noticed. The server asked for their opinion on recent political events. My one friend gave a quick summary - which I will try to recount below.

He said there are three branches in our government - House, Senate, and Judiciary. Well almost. The House and Senate both belong to the legislative branch.

He said the three branches are all equal. I agree.

He said the executive branch is over all of the government. It is not. The executive it the third of the equal branches.

He said that since the executive branch is over all the government, the other branches cannot do anything without approval from the executive. This is not true in the USA.

His explanation continued, but I just sat there in silence. It is so sad to realize most of the people I know get their information from one TV network, and that one TV network is spreading false information in order to bolster their favorite politician.

On occasion I challenge some revelation my friends share. But generally I have learned they do not want to hear my explanations. They believe their one and only TV network. They do not believe anyone else.

expectations about fiction

A big, long anticipated movie was released to theaters this week. I had planned to go see it, but the distribution company released a medical alert warning this film included flashing strobe-like scenes. I do not have the specific medical condition they were concerned about, but I have had troubles before with strobes. Therefore I avoid them, which meant I chose to not go see this film. I was disappointed.

My expectation was for them to make this film accessible to all. They did not. Oh well, I will get over my disappointment. Afterall, it is just fiction.

However, I am still fascinated with the film, so I have been reading reviews. It is amazing how disappointed many fans are with the film. They are writing reviews and posting blogs about how this bit of fiction did not go as they expected.

I wonder how many of those same fans and critics have looked at the political situation in our current reality and written blogs or opinion articles about how disappointed they are with our reality?

What if we put as much effort into trying to fix reality as we do into trying to fix fiction?

cat on a motorcycle

I own a motorcycle and a bicycle. I do not own a car.

My cat needed to go to the veterinarian, so we went by motorcycle.

Poor kitty. He did not like getting put into the transport case - he has never been confined before. He did not like stepping out the front door - since I rescued him from under a pile of lumber, he has only been outside once and he did not like the experience.

The cat carrier was slung over my shoulder so he was behind my back. We got on the motorcycle and he was still crying about being confined and being outdoors. Then I started the motorcycle and he started howling because the noise frightened his - and I have a quiet motorcycle.

I tried wrapping him in a blanket, but he wanted nothing to do with it. I tried keeping the cat carrier behind my back to block the wind, but he jumped a shoved and was soon slung under my arm. Once the motorcycle started moving the wind must have felt cold - I know if feels cold to me even though I am wearing a heavy jacket.

The temperature was in the 50s F which is about as good as it is going to get in the winter. But there was a strong cross wind on top of the wind chill generated by the motorcycle traveling along at 50 mph.

Poor kitty. I tried as best I could to make the journey short and quick, but I as I worried about the cat, I missed my turn. So we went a mile out of our way to loop around and try again.

Eventually we got to the veterinarian’s office. Once in, my cat got quiet. He was fascinated by sounds. I set him on the floor so he could watch a family of kittens who quickly stopped their adventures to turn and watch the cat who was watching them. He survived the motorcycle ride and settled down pretty good.

expanding scope

A very common problem in project management is expanding scope. You agree to manage a project with a fixed budget, a fixed number of people, a fixed set of deliverables, and finish on the date set for completion. Then, a few new requirements get added, some staff get transfered, and you start scrambling to find some way to finish on time. The bigger the project, the more frequently scope, staff, and funding change.

My latest book is a nice small project. I am the staff. I provide the funding. I set the scope. But, world events have set the completion date. I was making good progress, when I got sick and had to slow down for several weeks. I started working a few more hours each day trying to make up some lost time.

I thought I was doing pretty well. There are three sections in this book. I finished the research for the first section and finished abut 70% of the writing. I am about 60% finished with the research for the second part. I am a bit behind my original schedule, but doing alright.

Then, I hit a snag. As I was trying to explain one of the key points in the first section, I realized I was going to need a fourth section. More importantly, I need to do the research and analysis on the fourth section before I can do any more writing on the first section.

As of now, I am about 25% through the analysis in the fourth section. I will not finish when I had planned. In previous years, I would have been obsessing over this. Now, I accept my powerlessness to control the unforeseen. I am going to work diligently and I will re-estimate this project after I finish the research and analysis on this fourth section.

last ride together

A friend needed a ride to a specialist for some medical care. The specialists was about 140 miles from here. We made plans and I was ready. But she got delayed. By the time we got together, it was later than when we had planned to depart.

I told her we were running late and she said we had to be there on time. This specialists is booked up weeks in advance and there would be no way to fit her in if we are late. I said we could still make it if we drove faster than normal. She said she liked the idea. So, I pressed the gas pedal and we went faster than I might have gone otherwise.

As we were driving, she said she had always liked going fast. Her father owned a car shop and she liked helping him. Later, she and her first husband bought a sports car and would race it on weekend. She was generally the navigator while her husband drove, but she was an experienced street racer.

We got to the doctor with a few minutes to spare. She spent time with the doctor. Then we went to a laboratory for some testing. Then we started back and got stuck in stop-and-go traffic. By the time we were about 30 miles along on the return trip, she was exhausted. She had done too much for one day.

We pulled into a restaurant parking lot and sat. We sat mostly in silence for about an hour and a half. Finally, she had enough strength for us to continue the journey. Fortunately the stop-and-go traffic had abated.

I drove at a slower than normal speed and we made it back to her place. I made sure she got into her home safely and then I went home.

This is a great memory.

I am glad I got to see her being the navigator in a road race.

funeral

I went to the funeral today of a friend. There was a small representation of family. There were many friends from a variety of places where she had worked. I was the only one from our twelve-step group. She was a dear lady with a great spirit.

I met her husband for the first time and tried not to hold any resentments. We join our twelve-step program because of the struggles we have getting along with one of our loved ones. In confidence, she sometimes told us about her struggles with him. That was her struggle. There is no need for me to hold it against him. He has his own struggles.

writing again

I have finished the research for my next book. I then divided the remaining work into three sections: x-y axis, z-axis, and then explain what it all means. I have finished the mathematics and more than half the writing regarding the x-y axis. I had most of the mathematics finished on the z-axis, before I determined the tool I was using was not going to deliver the results I hoped it would. Even so, having done the z-axis mathematics once, it will be much faster doing it a second time.

I am making good progress.

This is especially good progress considering that only six weeks or so ago I had no inclination towards taking on this task.

One step at a time. I budget some time every day to work on this, and every day something get done.

retirement with purpose

People ask which company I work for, and I say I am retired, which is not quite true. I am very busy providing service to a non-profit, I just don’t get paid for my work. I am very busy writing book, for which my income is so miniscule as to not matter much. It is difficult to explain such concepts to friends who have typical “jobs.”

With a typical job, someone tells you when to work, when to stop, where to work, and when to be there. If I try to describe voluntary service work, the typical reaction is “but you don’t need to if you don’t feel like it.” Technically this is true, but if you earn a reputation for being unreliable then you will not have the opportunity to serve in the future.

Being retired could be an empty life. I have chosen to fill my life with purpose.

refrigerator-less

My refrigerator died a while back and I have chosen not to replace it. It used a lot of electricity and I think I can see a savings every month in my electric bill.

People did just fine without a refrigerator in the 1800s and earlier. People who do not bicycle travels do not carry a refrigerator with them. People who walk the Appalachian Trail do not stash a refrigerator in their backpack. It should be possible for me to get by without one.

Generally this work. I need to shop more frequently. In the summer fruit and vegetables only last 24 to 36 hours when it gets over 90F in my apartment. Thus, I am happy we finally have fall weather. Some days are still in the 70F range, but fruit and vegetables typically last about 3 days in that range. And once it gets even cooler, I plan to keep my thermostat set in the low 60F range. Some fruit and some vegetables will last up to 5 days in that range.

I really do not need all the accessories of the 20th Century. Afterall, this is the 21st Century, and now is the time to adapt to our future.

back to work

I am finally feeling healthy and clear headed enough to get back to work on my next book. I am doing research now. This book will be based on an analysis of the text in five speeches. I have tried to set up a system where I can analyze sentences independently from the body of text they came from. Thus, I hope to minimize my prejudicial reactions to specific sentences based on my view of the author or their themes.

So far, it seems to be working well. I am reading one sentence at a time and trying to evaluate it. I have masked the author of each sentence and jumbled the sentences into a semi-random order. I can only work constructively for a short interval before I begin to lose focus. The research part of this work is going to take some time. This will be a good project now that the rainy season has started.

Sondra

I started my current home group in 2013. Soon after it started a wonderful lady named Sondra joined our group. She had a lot of years in another family groups program but was struggling with new issues in her family. She shared her wisdom and picked up a few tips and tricks from the rest of us.

About 2 years ago she began to battle cancer. She almost beat it, but it came back and spread. She passed away today.

We miss her. She had a fantastic attitude about life. She valued every day.

We miss her.

newcomers

Newcomers show up at our meetings with such enthusiasm. They know they need help. They want what we have. The show up, buy literature, and promise to be at the next meeting.

Why do so many repeat this same cycle and so few follow through?

I know when I first joined a twelve-step family program, I was hurting. I was enthusiastic about what I heard. But somehow, I could not translate what I heard into action to address my immediate problems. Soon I felt so overwhelmed by my problems I no longer felt like I had energy to put into searching for solutions. I dropped out for several years.

I am really glad I came back.

when serenity arrives

On occasion, I find sufficient peace and serenity to simply wish the best possible day for everyone.

It takes time to release resentments, especially those resentments which keep coming back. They come back because I fail to turn loose of them. They do not go away when I fight them. They go away when I accept them as part of me and discard them as a history I have moved beyond.

responding to changes

I keep thinking I can get everything set up into some nice stable configuration and just glide along. One more repair and the motorcycle will run forever. Get all my automatic payments configured, and then just monitor. Put all the right files in all the right folders, share them appropriately, and the system will take care of itself.

Of course this never works. The cats food bowl must be replenished every morning. My food bowl must be replenished - and while I am living without a refrigerator - this means frequent trips to the grocery store. I expect that. Nothing stays put. If you are not repairing and improving, you are declining.

In the past few weeks, however, two organizations I thought were “stable” have suddenly disrupted my life. A service we had been using for file storage is shutting down.

The service I had been using for my automatic payments notified me they are going to erase all my history, and erase all my vendor set ups. Sometime later this year I will be able to go in an rebuild my payment schedule. Instead, I am migrating now to another service.

No time for rest.

self evaulation

A friend asked a hard question which I could not answer. I thought about it for a couple days and finally sent a written reply.

I am impressed by people who can immediately tell you exactly what they think. I watch politicians field difficult questions with clever, witty responses.

I cannot do such. I need time to think, state it once, rework it, and try again. I work best with writing.

ramping up

It was a great relief when I finished my last book. It took five years of research. Once it was published, I felt purposeless. I know I need to write the next book. But I needed some time to recuperate.

Today I finally began thinking about what comes next. I am not sure what it will be, but I am exploring options.

alligators and bears

There are many variations on this saying, but the one I currently enjoy is:

“There is no time to deal with the alligator pulling on your leg when you are trying to fight off the bear that has your arm.”

In other words, prioritize.

habit or not

While I was researching and writing my last ebook, I was on my computer first thing every morning. Now, I am distracted by a lot of other things. There have been days when I have not even logged into the computer at all. It was easier to maintain a habit of posting a blog entry fairly consistently when I was already on the computer, or when I was already making updates through my cell phone apps.

Now I need to think about it.

I also find it harder to pick a good topic when I am not continually uncovering new information through my research.

I will strive to do better.

change all around

I stopped by my mailbox a week ago and noticed a few Halloween decorations. Somethings stay the same. The store manager likes Halloween and usually adds a few discreet decorations.

As I was leaving, it dawned on me this is one of the very few locations in town which has any consistency. I have been using this store for six years now and the manager has stayed the same.

My doctor merged with a health care service and then went somewhere else.

My next doctor merged with a health care service and then went somewhere else.

My favorite bicycle mechanic quit about a month ago and no longer works on bicycles.

My favorite motorcycle mechanic was hired by the headquarters and moved across the country.

My favorite car dealership went through so many changes in service management that I lost count. I got disgusted not knowing if I was booking an appointment with a quality dealer, a low cost dealer, a high cost dealer, or who. I eventually sold my car.

My favorite pastry shop changed managers.

In the four years I have been in this apartment, four different tenants have lived next door.

Of the three sporting goods store I used to go to for athletic wear, two closed.

My favorite grocery store was sold to another company. That company went out of business. Then the old company reopened the store - but it is different.

I am looking forward to seeing what Halloween decorations they put up in my mailbox store.

are premonitions self-fulfilling?

I scheduled a motorcycle trip this week knowing the timing of both my outbound and return trips were going to coincide with heavy Los Angeles traffic. I had a premonition this could be bad. I knew I would be lane-splitting. I knew traffic would be heavy.

I left and ran into the LA traffic just as expected. I spent more than an hour lane-splitting and came through unscathed. My premonition was wrong. I celebrated by stopping at a convenience store and bought some fast food. I tend to not do this while traveling. I have eaten some bad food a few times before and it makes the trip much more difficult.

I completed the work I was here to do and then started back home. Soon enough I was in heavy traffic. I might have spent two hours lane-splitting. I had more confidence and less dread, though a few times I thought about just pulling off and waiting it out. But I persisted.

Once clear of the congestion, I stopped at a truck stop and got some fast food. But something wasn’t feeling right. By the time I got home I knew I had food poisoning. It was a miserable night. I was in a lot of distress all through the next day. But food poisoning typically passes through the digestive system in 24-hours. Soon I was feeling better.

I think I was so fixated on my dread of the traffic that I discarded all my other standard precautions. So, was my premonition self-fulfilling? Did my dread lead to my downfall? I think so. I wish I had focused more on serenity. I wish I had stuck with my typical precautions about being very careful regarding what I eat while traveling.

Well, I can learn from this experience.