I am in the process of detaching from a situation that was not healthy for me. A friend tried to cheer me up and it took me a moment to respond. I am not sad. I am not mourning the loss. This is a choice I have made. I am choosing sanity over insanity. It would have been insane to continue going as I was thinking that the other person would change. It is sanity to look at the situation and accept that I am the only one I can change. It is sanity to then make the changes necessary to protect myself.
Detaching is not a defeat. It is just a preference for sanity rather than insanity.