rotation of service

One interesting point that comes up repeatedly in the Anti-Federalists papers is a request to consider term-limits on the elected federal representatives, senators, and executive (president and vice-president).

I only remember seeing one response within the Federalists Papers - and that was a vague insinuation that if the people were tired of someone they would vote them out.

This is one of the points where I agree with the Anti-Federalists.

The Anti-Federalists insisted upon a Bill of RIghts - and they got one.

They asked for term limits - but failed. The numerous arguments they make in favor of term limits all seem reasonable to me.

intrusion

I opened my door yesterday to go to a meeting and found that someone had constructed a makeshift tent blocking my way out of my apartment. The person was not around and I needed to go, so I took down their tent. Once I got past the tent I discovered my little 3 foot by 20 foot green space was covered with litter. I stopped, put all the litter into my trash bin, and tossed the makeshift tent in as well.

I know I have people who sleep on my porch occasionally. I do not care as long as they are gone in the morning. I have come home late at night and found people running past me to get away from my front door before I got to it. I sympathize. As long as they do not leave their trash, as long as they do not block my access, as long as they do not steal, I have sympathy.

But, when my ability to get in and out of my apartment is blocked by someone who inconsiderately leaves their encampment up when they are not even here, then I think that is a bit too far.

I hear the homeless at night stop to use my hose bib. A lot of my neighbors have taken the handles off their spigots. I leave the handle on mine so it can be used. It generally works well, but occasionally someone walks off and leaves it running. Why be so rude?

I guess I am thinking rationally, while some of our local street people seem to have so declined that they may no longer be thinking straight.

predicting the future

I have been reading through the Federalists and Anti-Federalists papers. (Hamilton, Alexander & Madison, James & Jay, John; 2011; The Federalist vs. Anti-Federalist Dispute: The Original Arguments For Each; Amazon Digital Services LLC; B005JMZ5RC)

Amazing how many predictions each side made. Federalists could not image that a President would venture too far from the center without being put in check by the legislature. Anti-Federalists could not image how states could survive if they were under the authority of a massive centralize government. Federalists were confident that any federal army would be small and only as large as was of use. Anti-Federalists proclaimed that there had never been a standing army that did not eventually overthrow the government. Many of their predictions proved false within twenty or thirty years. Yet, others may still be proved right.

I find it especially interesting to read the competing arguments from men who just a few years earlier had been solidly unified in their opposition to Britain. I previously knew that Jefferson and Adams had personal conflicts, but in these writings their names are used to bolster divisive positions that I wonder if they even supported.

I cannot count the number of times in my life when people have quoted a tidbit from one of patriots from the revolutionary war era as if all at that time were of a unified voice. They definitely were not. From reading these papers I am amazed that nearly eighty years elapsed between the end of the revolutionary war and the start of the civil war. Some of these authors make it sound like they were already on the verge of a great internal war not even ten years after the end of the revolution.

Their posturing, their virtual, their insinuations - all taking shots at each other through the newspapers - except Hamilton who eventually drew pistols to put action behind his words. The insinuations of ulterior motives sounds rather similar to what I hear today on the nightly news.

All of this transpired in a time when it might take a week for news to travel from New York to Charleston, and even longer to reach London and Paris. Imagine how heated the exchange might have been if they had access to a telegraph, telephone, or internet.

My primary conclusion - no matter how confident you are of your position, predicting the future is nearly impossible.

external expectation

I receive notice that the big website search service is going to give priority ranking to websites that change frequently. Interesting insight into the trend towards disposable knowledge.

I have been working for more than four years on a research project that I will not be ready to publish for quite a while - perhaps a year, maybe longer. So, the website that I use to list my publications has been fairly static for a while now. I am not ready to publish. I think I have some data. I think I have an interpretation. But I am not ready. I guess that means that website is going to receive a lower rating.

Is the only knowledge that has value information that has a half-life of one day? I do not think so.

Is persistence just insanity with gilded attire?

I have several books that I started reading at one time or another and set aside because they seemed unduly repetitive. I set a goal this month to finish as many of them as possible. Sometimes the reading feels like drudgery. Occasionally I find a gem that I was not expecting.

My mind sometimes rebels. There are so many other things I could be doing. Why am I persisting in this endeavor? Is this just an obsessive compulsion? Is this a display of crazed perfectionism?

I ponder those questions, yet I persist.

Part of my motivation is pride. I want to know that I know what is in these books. There were important to me once, which is why I bought them and have kept them. So, I persist.

If I was devoting all my time to this cause with no benefit, then that would be insanity. Instead, I strive to work on this until I am worn, and then change to some other task.

Do we blame the racoon?

We sometimes get a racoon in our neighborhood. They hide during the day and prowl at night. I might not see one for a year, and then I catch a fleeting glance as one scurries over a fence.

Racoons are omnivores. They do not plant crops. They do not herd livestock. They prowl. If you do not keep your trash secure they will prowl the depths of the receptacles. They also enjoy eating cats.

Several times I have had neighbors tell me that the local racoon must be hunted and killed because it got their cat. Is that the fault of the racoon? When I have a cat, I keep it indoors at night. If you lock up your trash and your cats, then the racoon will move elsewhere.

I like to organize people into teams. Inevitably, whenever I have a strong team, some corporate racoon will come along and devore the results of my effort. There are simple precautions. If the team bands together, they can resist. If the corporation stopped rewarding the predators, then the predators would move elsewhere. But that is not how American corporations work.

What I have learned, is that this cycle repeats endlessly. I have learned there is no blame in a racoon being a racoon. The best I can do is to heard my cats, create a strong organization, and do what I can to help that organization learn to survive when the corporate racoons arrive.

Corporate racoons do not know how to build. They do not know how to organize. All they know how to do is devour. They are good at it.

Joy in service

I joined a new service committee today and it was a wonderful experience. The members were joyful, they cooperated, they got work accomplished. I have been on committees that did not achieve one or more of those three simple goals. I had been discouraged and almost did not show up on this call today. I am very glad I did.

Serenity not depression

Occasionally I slip into a depression. Sometimes it gradually sneaks up on me and I slowly spiral downward. Other times it is rather sudden. When I catch myself slipping I try to focus on gratitude.

Occasionally I feel serene and content. This is nice and I wish I could do it more often. Sometimes, however, what seems like serenity is actually a creeping slip into depression. The counteraction for the slide from serenity into depression is awareness. I need to catch myself and focus on what I am allowing to happen to myself.

Self-awareness and gratitude are the tools I use to counter depression.

Repetitive - yet persistent

I am reading a few books now that seem excessively long. I think I got the main points from each of these authors in about the first 20 pages. The hundreds of pages after that seem repetitive. I understand that there was more time for reading in earlier centuries. Perhaps I am spoiled by the need for ever changing entertainment. What I hope I learn from this experience is how to say what I want to say more concisely. 

Having expressed my frustration via this blog, I then continued reading. Within an hour I came across a paragraph so remarkable that it made the previous days of effort all worthwhile. Yes, this reading is repetitive. Yes, it takes persistence to continue even when so much seems dreary. Yet, there are gems waiting to be found.

Acceptance without resentment

If I am here today because this is where higher power wants me to be, then I must be on the right path. If I am on the right path, then it was necessary for me to go through my past experiences. Then why should I complain that my journey had experiences I had not expected? 

serenity today

I have a long list of projects that I can work. Today, however, I am ignoring that list. It is an odd feeling when I intentionally slow down and give myself a break. I am still busy anyway. I am just taking the time to slow down and figure out what is important.

busy week

I created a deadline for myself to try to get the draft version of the first three chapters out to a few reviewers this week. To accomplish that, I neglected a few other activities, such as this blog. But, even though I was giving up things I enjoy - like this blog - I still spent hours every day checking in on the “news.”

I do not understand my compulsion about news when there really isn’t anything new. There were crashed and people died. There were stories about crooked politicians. There were stories about people getting strange illnesses. There were stories about people, parties, and governments arguing with each other. Not much else. I think that if they re-ran the news from last year, hardly anyone would notice.

I know this. I know that in order to accomplish what I want to do, I must forego something else. Yet, even so, I continue to spend time reading and watching the “news.”

revisions getting smaller

Sometimes I write in a hurry and then do a lot of clean up. I judge how close I am getting to a finished work by the amount of change I make when I re-read a section. If I am moving paragraphs around, then I am a long ways from complete. If I am removing sentences, then I am close. I find the delete key to be the most valuable key on my keyboard when I do editing. Once I get down to only a few word replacements, then I think I have a draft ready to be shared. And when I get to where I replace a word in one read through, only to put it back in the next read through, then I know I am stuck in a perfectionist loop and I need to stop.

perfectionism

If I am creating something, I tend to be a perfectionist. I can give psychological explanations about my upbringing, but I have lived a lot more years as an adult than I have as a child. So, as an adult, I accept ownership for this behavior. It is a character defect and I include it in my step four inventory.

On the other hand, I am a pragmatist when others are concerned. I can be magnanimous in overlooking the flaws in everyone else’s work.

Perhaps I should learn to treat myself as generously as I think I treat others.

Sabbath time

I find that I am setting up rules for myself in order to change my behavior on Sundays. I know I need to step away from writing at least one day a week or else I get stale and sloppy in my writing. I have adopted the religious idea of a sabbath as a way to help structure this day off. But then I ponder what is acceptable and what is not. I know I will defeat myself if I define this practice through a set of rules. Instead I am trying to identify behaviors based on my stress level. If I feel stressed in doing something, then I know this is inappropriate for my purpose. But sometimes I get an inspiring thought and I want to write it down. If I make a rule that I do not write on Sunday’s, then I am fighting against myself. I think rather than rules that I will focus on goals. My goal is to feel grateful for the day. My secondary goal is to find serenity. If what I ponder leads to stress then that is taking me away from gratitude and serenity. I will try working with those goals for now.

Joyful work

I am spending some hours each day reading materials that I tend to find boring. This is due diligence to ensure I did not miss something in my research. At times I feel like this is an obligation. Sometimes I have resentments. Even so, it is possible to find joy in the effort of I just choose to do so. I wish I had a habit of first focusing on joy. Instead I work like this is an obligation, I chafe, I resent, and only then do I stop and examine myself. There is joy if I choose to accept it. 

vocabulary

I admire the way researchers are able to compactly make their point in research journals. They expect their audience to have a similar background and to share a common technical vocabulary. I know that most of the people who read what I write do not share my vocabulary. Even so, I find myself taking shortcuts as I write assuming the other person will know what I mean. It is hard trying to explain everything simply without overly simplifying and missing the point. I keep working at it. Hopefully practice, while not leading to perfection, will at least result in improvement.

debugging an essay

I spent many years working as a computer programmer. I am good at debugging program code. It is a skill I bring over into my style of writing. My essays need to be accurate. I write and express my thoughts, but sometimes I make leaps between points that are either hard to follow or unsubstantiated. I can read and re-read those same paragraphs over and over and not see the flaw in my logic. It is painstaking to “debug” an essay. I cannot run it and see what results I get. I cannot find the right test cases to prove or disprove my hypotheses. So, I just keep reading and re-reading knowing there are flaws and working hard as I can to find them.

about blogging

Sometimes I do not feel like I have anything to say. I believe that means I am not taking the appropriate time to ponder. Ponder, not so as to be able to blog, but ponder so as to be able to sort out what is important from what is just keeping me busy.

I want to make meditation and serenity higher priorities. To do that, I must watch that activities, just for the sake of being busy, do not crowd out the vacant space I need in my life.

Walking requires patience

I switch around between walking, running, bicycling, motorcycling, and driving. I used to mix in some train rides but have not been doing that lately.

I find that my choice depends on my mood. This year I have been more contemplate so I am doing a lot of walking. The advantage of walking is that I must accept my limitations. No matter how much of a hurry I am in, I am only going to travel 3 or 4 miles (5-7 km) in an hour. That means it is going to take time to get where I am going. 

 Research and writing also take time. I may wake up in the morning with plans to finish certain tasks. I have grand visions. Then I need to step back and think about what is realistic. Research is slow. Writing well and accurately is slow.